I’ve been working on asking for what I need. Like, out loud. To the person I want it from.
Apparently some people just do this. They weren’t taught that asking for things is greedy. Or they should be independent. Or their needs are unimportant. Or people who love them enough should just know what they need. Or whatever other tired script it was that was handed down to me from my family and society. (And let’s factor in that I’m stubborn as all fuck and it’s hard for me to admit I need anything at all.)
So I’ve been pushing myself to stop being cranky, or bratty, or defensive, or withdrawn, and to just say it out loud.
“I fell like I need some reassurance.”
“I need ten more minutes.”
“I need a snuggle.”
“I need some space.”
“I need you to hurt me.”
“I just need to know…”
It’s a challenge sometimes to stop myself and figure out what it really is I need, or to assure myself that what I need is important and I’m entitled to ask, but it’s astoundingly simple. And it’s changing everything.
This. Oh this. in spades
This. But I need someone to help me, to encourage me to do this. Thats the first thing I need. Because I feel ashamed to need some of the things I do. And I feel bad asking.
- 2 months ago
- 80
